I pre-cringe as I write because I know once I submit this, I have to follow through. I’m not lazy about writing, and I really do love the art, but I have some things to work on.
Perfection in writing has become an ever-growing obstacle for me. It wastes time causing me to not do it. I’ll fold laundry, feed the chickens whatever leftovers have accumulated on the counter, or rearrange the cereal cabinet. So, I have decided to put myself through a challenge to write a blog post every day for 30 days. It will have no true thread, length, or reason, but it will be something for the world, my potential accountability audience, to see.
I have goals: One is to become comfortable with writing again. It’s been a few months since I’ve done so regularly. Something else I’d love to accomplish is to learn how to submit a piece without going over it 20 times. Literally. If I get to paragraph 85 and there’s an error, I reread the entire piece from the top. I would love to do two reads then move on. (ugh. I’m already on my
5th 20th for this one.) Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person, or submitted a paper to a professor or boss and noticed an error? It makes my whole body feel weak and a little barfy.
Most importantly, and this goal needs its own paragraph home, is that I am desperate to control my thoughts. Because of the move and the world, I have been quite recluse again and it’s because of what I don’t purge. If I can share the darkness and the light, maybe focusing will seem less menacing to me. If I force myself to do it, using any readers I may have as accountability bosses, I will feel free. (Thanks, amateur therapists. I heart you.)
So this is it, day one.