Day Eight

People used to refer to a widow in town by her marital status when they addressed her. For example, they would have called me The Widow Adams. I’m happy times have changed. The word widow may make one think of an elderly lady with white hair, a few whiskers, and a cat on her lap. The word is in books, real life, and on the big screen.

I am not an action film type of girl, but after years of begging me, I agreed to watch some Marvel with the boys. They all loved it and spoke a different language around me, so I felt a little left out.

“You should watch WandaVision with us.”

I watched the show and became hooked to the characters and the general oddness of the short series. It borrowed old soothing sitcoms to carry the show along like I Love Lucy, Family Ties, and Modern Family. Anyone who knows me, knows I love sitcoms. I became fascinated with Wanda, a widow and mother of boys.

After that show, I started watching more Marvel shows and movies with the boys including Black Widow with Scarlett Johansson. It started a months-long heated conversation between me and Sam.

“I just don’t understand how she can be called a widow. She’s never been married, and she doesn’t even have a love interest,” I told him. “She’s never suffered loss like I have.”

“It’s more about the spider and not a human widow,” he said.

National Geographic Kids shares information on the Black widow, including a map of where you can find one. I’ve seen this venomous spider many times in North Carolina and know to keep a good distance from her. Although she’s intimidating, I’ve always been quite fascinated. This site will tell you a black widow earned her name by biting the head off her mate after their sexy time.

Sam and I revisited this conversation many times in the past few months, but he ended it last night.

“But she’s not a spider,” I said. “She’s a human.”

“They only call her a widow because she’s strong and scary like a black widow,” Sam said.

“I still don’t like it,” I said.

“A Black widow is more than her name. She does other things, too,” said Sam. Touché.

I just got quiet, smirked, and conceded.

So a lady who holds that title, human or spider, shouldn’t be characterized by her loss, but by her ability and spirit. She’s more than an event, more than a half of a whole, more than just a widow.