Day Fifteen

While preparing for an upcoming trip, I did the typical inventory of the correct documents for each child of mine who is traveling and felt I was coming up short. There were many days when I would hold documentation for four boys and myself, but things are changing fast.

My stack of social security cards, military ID’s, and vaccine cards seemed thin. Usually I held one set for each child, sans the vaccine cards (sign of the times) because, well, they were safer with me.

But, throughout the years, the pile becomes more slender as the boys become more responsible to hold their own important documents (ahem). Lately, the sparsity of them is making me feel like I’m lacking something. Now, I only have a set for Baylee and me.

What my heart is missing is having all my boys under my guidance, protection, and safe keeping. Although there have been times I’ve complained about having to carry large wallets to keep all the goods, I miss it.

“Mom, can you hold my water bottle? Mom, can you hold my DS? Mom, can you hold my Rey Mysterio guy? Don’t let Sam have him. Hon, can you hold my wallet? Mom, I need a Band-Aid. Mom, do you have any gum? Can I have two dollars?”

As they asked, they handed me the item.

My purse used to hold Hot Wheels, bags of Cheerios, water bottles, sippy cups, social security cards, extra everything. My wallet only has one Band-Aid these days, and it’s quite weathered.

It’s funny how the stuff we used to complain about is now the stuff we miss the most. My stuff is too clean. My stuff is too empty. My stuff is too lonely. I’m too lonely.

So, listen to me, young families. Embrace the diaper bags, dirty faces, and chaos, because having your kids under your protection is priceless. Letting them go hurts really, really bad.