I’ll Never Finish this Memoir. Day 121.

My boys, with their hard work and generosity, pitched in and gifted me with a new laptop for Christmas. I was so overdue for one, but did not expect it. I am completely grateful and having a blast with this new fancy-pants device. (It has a lighted keyboard!)

Of course, when any of us has a new piece of technology, all of the goods, like documents and photos from the old one, need to be transferred. My old laptop, God rest her soul, had all of my writings on it, including my memoir.

I so want to finish it, but it’s not like I can just write a few lines and move on. In order to really share that part of my life, I have to get lost in it, and I just don’t have the motivation right now. When I’m in a dark mood, or just feeling melancholy, that is when I think about writing it. Right now, I’m happy, and I don’t want to go back there.

Challenging myself publicly to do things like quitting smoking and writing every day helps me keep on track. I have never been ashamed of my need for accountability because it’s simply who I am, but I wonder if I could make it work for my memoir.

My wheels are turning. I have written many posts about the memoir, and I have an almost complete draft. Notes on my phone keep growing because when an idea or image from my past pops into my brain, I jot it down, but will I ever truly believe it’s finished? Advice?

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