Chicken Drama. Day 362.

I was driving the lawn tractor trying to spread out the excess of grass clippings that the recent rain has caused. It’s so thick and lush, which is great, but I don’t have a bagger yet, and don’t want to spend a thousand dollars for one. I was whirling around in circles, trying to create a nice pattern (We compete with grass patterns in this household.), when I see Max walking towards me holding our red sexlink hen we call Romanoff.

Max’s face looked frantic and concerned. I turned off the blades and motor. “What happened?” As I asked I scanned her body for blood or bones.

“They were attacking her.” We had just tried to mix her in with another flock because she just wasn’t getting along with anyone, always the drama queen. (I swear she winked at me from Max’s gentle arms.)

“OK, she’s fine. Let’s put her in with Elsa,” I said.

This current situation may amuse us one day to read about:

• Elsa is alone in a smaller crate because she has an injury from years ago that does not complement her chubby body.
• Romanoff is alone as well because she thinks she’s a people. She and Elsa are put in together at night, but don’t love being together during the day.
• Maleficent is alone in a small coop and run because she eats her friends’ feathers until they start to bleed and become bald.
• Donald is in a run with two Nonames, Vanya, and our only hatch, Mr. Jarndyce.
• Din Djarin is in another run with Roseanne, two more Nonames, and Anna the Brahma. (We don’t name them anymore because it was too sad, so we call them Nonome. It doesn’t help when they pass like we thought it would.)

It would be easier, maybe, to free range them, but the predators would get them, and the chickens wouldn’t leave us alone. Ever. Plus, I’m pretty sure Wanda and David would rip them to shreds.

Chicken keeping is difficult in many ways, but I do love when they’re all settled and doing well, taking a drink to their area of the yard, playing music, and just watching them. Their individual personalities is what makes this so confusing, but it’s also why I do it.